| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|03:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
i'm attracted to Kevin Martin.
here's the thing about that situation. i've spent my entire scholastic career friends with males who have played sports. few have ventured into athletics as a viable career, but i tend to shy away from men who choose this profession for simple reasons:
a) many aren't serious about testing out something with someone new,
b) it's tough to trust people when all you perceive them to know is a public (and wealthy) persona,
c) when tons of girls throw themselves at you, it's easy to just to have fun and take care of your responsibilities when they arise *cough - Marcus*
however, when looking for a collegiately educated, financially stable black male, especially in the sacramento area, it's tough not to exclude 6-10 of the most visible black males in your area.
kevin's within my age range, 2 years older than me, he's low-key and has a great job. by all accounts (kings personnel, barber shop, my own mom via the airport), he's very quiet, nonchalant, and in a word, cool.
part of me SCREAMS "no!" because he's a professional athlete, has tons of girls/women who don't look at him, but look at his jersey and are willing to do anything. i'm really not even comfortable enunciating that i'm attracted this guy, because of the obvious gold-digger/groupie conclusions that people would bring up. i'm not even comfortable in thinking about him as anything more than a date or two, seeing if we have anything in common. truthfully, there's nothing more reassuring than knowing that you don't have to be the breadwinner in a household (i'm really conservative that way), but it's nice to know that you're going to be met at least halfway in terms of financial endeavors, but it's tough to think about that before you've even met someone.
i already live in granite bay pointe. i went to granite bay, my parents are relatively comfortable, and i'm not looking for a leg up! i'm looking for someone who's cute (check), tall (double check), likes his job (check), financially stable (check), and owns his own home (check).
i bring to the table a collegiate education, a potential earnibility of at least 6 figures once i'm mid-career, and overall financial stability. i don't plan on having children until i'm married, and don't plan on being married until i'm ready. i love my family and friends, like to travel, and i'm currently working on finishing getting my body back to where i want it to be physically.
i dunno if he likes black girls, a ton of black-identifying men with white mothers are often attracted to white girls because they're reminded of their mothers.
if he's into black girls though, it'd be amazing if he looked me up! ;). |
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| things people don't know because i don't tell them... |
[Oct. 23rd, 2007|05:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
i'm executing three events in one day on friday.
i'm taking seventeen credits this quarter.
my gramma's sick, like with cancer sick.
san diego is on fire. my sister goes to san diego state.
someone nearly sitting in my lap & i'm at a point where can't stand him while the one that interests me like no other is sitting in another timezone.
wake me up when october ends... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2007|10:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | devilish ;) | ] |
Not gonna even front...
The 'quah product* can come get it, mattress, boxspring and futon...
That other one can come get it, and after last night's conversation, it's a waste of time trying to list all the places he could... Hahahaha.
*-it's probably worth noting that I do NOT, under any circumstances, condone infidelity. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2007|10:18 am] |
I'm moving back to Patricia Place today. Should I be terribly excited? Yes and no. Am I?
You better fucking believe it. This is a return to living alone, but this time with enough friends to not really be alone all the time. Haha, I know J's gonna be excited, but that's a moot point. I still maintain that if I've got a lot on my mind and I STILL don't call HIM, I truthfully can't be interested. I don't even know where I'm at with that. I feel like it's Monday and Johnny Rockets has great service but I would wait a day and go to Red Mill and gamble on the burgers doused with peanut oil. (this is a really random analogy that few will get, but really...who reads this but me?) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2007|12:54 am] |
somewhere between having a test to study for, a strange phone conversation "as always, our communication is stellar", a strange night of self-control (can a dude really be that fine? i swear she puts us in the same room just to watch us do this strange tango of a flirt session).
ps: until further notice, i quit trying to figure out Dale. |
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| the heinous act of perpetration. |
[Aug. 4th, 2007|10:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
so, people REALLY perpetrate that they're in organizations that they haven't joined? i was looking at this facebook group called "perp alert!!!" and i just sat there and wanted to die for the people that were on there! i completely understand not wanting someone to perpetrate something SO serious, but i know that i would just DIE if i were being called out on facebook.
i COMPLETLEY understand a burning desire to join an organization. when you really want it, and it consumes your thoughts, your time and the idea drives your interest, but damn! the idea of being called out on facebook (let alone the moral fortitude to not claim something i have nothing to do with) is enough to NOT do it.
i don't understand! |
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| evidence of need for dismissal |
[Jul. 27th, 2007|05:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
so, jeff is a REALLY nice guy. he likes me, is rather simple (goes to work, goes home, sleeps, repeat) and is terribly sweet.
HOWEVER...
i'm in a slight state of loneliness and i'm STILL like "eh, i don't wanna drive to lakewood." this is probably a sign that i definitely do NOT need to hangout with this kid. rough. hahahaha. damn. |
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| food for thought |
[Jul. 26th, 2007|11:57 am] |
there's nothing sexier than a power couple who doesn't know it or is HELLA DL about it.
just a thought....attached with a HUGE grin. there goes 6ish quarters of sobriety about not thinking about el bailador *that* way.
ps: in other news- i could have really used some accounting help last night. too bad little dude came 4 days early instead of 2 days late like i was hoping. Hilliards really like their reputation in general (save a few who love to wild out) so I'm going to stay true to my word, from now on - i go at accounting alone (or with the help of the IC) |
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| my official thought on gramma in the hospital. |
[Jul. 22nd, 2007|10:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
UCSF Medical Center, 14th Floor Long. February 18, 2001
i was 15 and i took a doctor out into the hallway and down to a little reception area where patients have support group meetings for liver transplants. i looked doc dead in his eyes and asked him if the necrotizing fasciitis that was inside my dad was going to kill him. he tried to tell me that's not a question he should be answering, and i asked him to "cut the professional bullshit and let me know." he told me that he wasn't very optimistic. i told him i heard "yes" when he said that. he told me he would try his best and he walked out of the room.
i stared out the window at all the lights emulating for the city that birthed me, and can honestly say that was the lowest point of my life.
today, my dad rolls on 24s and listens to more rap than i do.
the moral of the story is: we've been through this before. leukemia treatment won't be easy, but i'll wait it out, gladly. i'm just a little hospital-ed out at the moment.
paz.
ps: i wasn't the only one at swedish this weekend. i refuse to be a homewrecker. |
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| quatre-vingt et huit. |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|03:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | refreshed | ] |
damn it, adriana. we said no athletes...
forsaking ALL puns, i've always had trouble with TEs. |
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| oh, robert kelly |
[Jul. 16th, 2007|12:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | complacent | ] |
a buncha my (chick) friends asked me - age...what's going on with (insert?). this is the best way to explain it:
98023 - kelly
98498 - tommy
thanks, r. - you're so much help. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2007|07:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crushed | ] |
last week, we hung out. i'm not entirely sure it was a date, but i do know that at times it sure as hell felt like one.
i caught myself wishing for that more often. but alas, i think you'll end up with Miss E. Not that i can be angry. It's literally for the better of society that you guys end up together.
the least i could do to myself is not mentally lead myself on, even if you choose to do so... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2007|01:08 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
sometimes, i'm uber-grateful for text messaging, because a lack of talking in person shields my face from betraying my expression, and a lack of talking on the phone shields my voice's shock (hope?) and curiousity about what i've been asked to do.....
fly to ontario.
he has no idea what he asked. that didn't keep me from the airport, i really went.
on the way back, it hit me.....
"WTF?"
not only in terms of what he asked me, but did i really just respond by actually going to the airport? granted, my situation is different than most, did i really do that?
i wonder what this means... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2007|12:37 am] |
it's tough trying to figure out right now versus right.
stuff comes into play like history, chemistry, potential (a word i tend to really hate), hahaha and whether or not the person is actually single. i've really pondered this for the last 6 weeks or so. at first, i was like "ha, not interested......at all." then people start to grow on you and you develop an interest.
i've bored 5 friends to death in the last 6-10 weeks. they've issued an ultimatum - "piss or get off the pot" essentially.
it's a sucker move, but i'm getting off the pot. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2007|12:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
i love miranda, but i wish that i could be in a relationship with my textbooks on facebook. maybe i'll just try that in real life. could be tight. |
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| mission accomplished. |
[Apr. 7th, 2007|02:56 am] |
i came. i was cute. i was confident.
for the past couple of days, i've been staring at a you's poke, trying to figure out my next move. it came on the third, and i just poked him now. i knew he was gonna be at this party tonight, so - not gonna lie - i put a little more effort into myself than usual (no jeans, a party top, curled my hair - still no make up). i saw him, he didn't really speak, and i turned around and went downstairs and was with miranda for a minute. i started talking to alice, then i feel someone's hand covering my eyes, and i'm like "wtf" next thing i know, it's you, and i'm trying not to lose the phone conversation, and figure out who's messing with me. i feel his hands, and they're familiar, and then i go for the real test and find a head full of twists.....subject confirmed (nerdwatch '07: did i really just say that?). i lose the phone conversation for a minute, and then pick it back up when i think i'm done being messed with. here comes someone again....this time, taking the baby bottle of captain morgan! (it's still sealed, kids) he thinks i'm drunk, and makes me walk in a straight line. i'm not perfect at it, but it's because i can BARELY walk in heels. (that's what happens when you have 4th period with 80 guys as a senior in high school). he starts messing with me again, and i lose the call after awhile again (pretty sure alice heard a ton though). he asks me if he's gonna see me tonight, and i start thinking about how comfy my new sheets are.
he called me later, but the situation wasn't really right. my room was clean overall (but slightly messy from getting ready) and moreover, Liz' mom/siblings are here.
at least i was cute. mission accomplished.
PS- Status update: on my end, part of me is really starting to get soften on the kid, but part of me still wants to wring his neck most of the time. the neck side is still winning (by a lot), just not by as much of a large margin as say...2 months ago. |
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| no, seriously. |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|11:56 pm] |
no seriously. adam kruse knows d2k. have i not been writing about this since the summer of 05? no REALLY.
HOLY COW.
i've given up, and re-upped, then given up again only to be reinvigorated at random times. i can't help but think....
could this be it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|10:12 pm] |
we had a YL meeting today, and about halfway through the meeting, i could NOT stop smiling. i'm just soooooooooooo STOKED for the possibilities that could come from today's meeting. you really have to understand where i was about a year ago with this group. i was the new kid on the block, no one would really talk to me, there were only boys in club who would mainly just hit on me (like...the students!) and i was just like....drowning and thinking "how am i ever going to get through a year of this?"
now, we've got a group of girls going (with money down!) and i've kinda swooped in where bekah left off with Chiquita and the other girls and the ball is just kind of rolling, and i'm REALLY thankful to God for answering my prayers.
i'm also STOKED for our team. like....the fact that one even exists now beyond me, tara, bakke and adam (like last year). further, i'm excited because there's another girl to replace tara so soon! i really miss tara, and i'm hoping that jesse will be the mom at camp, because i'm not quite sure i have it in me, but we'll see.
on the way home, i was thinking how much life has improved in the last week. i'm excited to tithe this week (God loves a cheerful giver!), i think i'm moving away from dude, i've FINALLY hammered down the church service that's gonna be like...my service (GC - Thursdays @ 7!) and my school plan is making sense and an exit plan is taking shape. life is starting to make sense. that's exciting. the only things that could make life even cooler is if i had an actual small group (calling all cadres!) and if i were dating someone that liked God more than they like sex (hahaha, ouch.). a clean room wouldn't suck either.
that's probably enough out of me. it's time to go make out with my accounting textbook. hubba hubba. |
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| age 201 |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|12:35 am] |
i'm fairly convinced that no one beyond CLA and LCH (and TEC) actually reads this livejournal.
people who call me adriana probably know a little bit about me. people who call me adri are either from granite bay, or they met me when i was in a granite bay state of mind (a major possibility at UW). people who call me age know me, like david knew bethsheba, like Em knows 50 and like FOB knows P!ATD.
watching top gun pumps me up in ways i'll never fully explain to anyone.
contrary thoughts by my mom and the pretty boy, i'm really not a hater. a better phrase to describe me is "overly cautious realist"
i can park the hell out of any (automatic) car you seat me in.
me driving to the Sea-Tac Airport is my driving at its finest.
that said, i cannot really drive otherwise.
few people really know that i play the piano (classically) like my name's alicia.
adriana as we (me included) know it is merely a rough draft of the adriana i hope to become someday (physically, emotionally/mentally, and spiritually).
i hate folding clothes.
i'm a very "big picture" person....nearly to a fault.
i'm nearly incapable of NOT helping a friend in need.
i'm tougher than many think, but not as overly tough as others have experienced.
i was born to navigate. directions just make sense to me.
that said, on the very rare occassion that i do get lost, my general sense of direction is amazing.
what my friends have dubbed "adriana's black macaroni and cheese" is the bomb thanks to my white aunt's recipe.
the hurst triplets taught me how to be relatively on time in most social endeavors.
beyond my family and my church, i'm kinda afraid of large groups of black people. i don't think they're going to hurt me, but i always wonder in the back of my head if i'm accepted.
it doesn't matter what my cell phone area code is or where my parents live. "san francisco" will always be the place i say when people ask me where i'm from or where's home.
i hide my actual weight fairly well. don't worry, i'm working on it.
EMD successfully scared me away from sex. ironically, that's the last thing he wanted.
to me, spiderman = jabari. jabari was more of a superman though.
part of me wants to be seriously involved with a pretty boy, but most of me is content with our status (or lack of one). all of me is okay with him making the first move.
a part of me will always be attracted to CDP, GCP and even CTJ....and probably JBS too.
i love nicknames, people's middle names and using initials when talking about people.
i love my sister more than anything, but no one drives me more insane.
chinese food speaks to me.
chicken (in general) is a close second.
i REALLY love football.
i REALLY love sports in general.
secretly, i wish i could write for page 2.
massages are the one thing that i do believe is as fun to give as it is to receive. (well, that and hugs/smiles)
i can't wait to have kids, but i really am...
my own disorganized room disgusts me, but not to the point where i clean up regularly.
there are (increasingly) frequent moments when all i can think about are three letters.
i miss mrs. healy & coach cooper. senior year of HS, i saw them more than my own parents.
i spent my senior year of high school driving a golf cart.
most of my iTunes playlists are aimed at people. the songs make sense once you know who the titles are about.
the new NBC show, "the black donnellys," is the shit.
i'm preparing for ben and doodle to live with me someday.
i want to own my own home (condo?) by the time i'm 30.
i plan on paying my parents back for college (or most of it?)
black men who have it together stop me dead in my tracks.
i'm really interested in east coast African-American communities, because i think they represent a wider socio-economic spectrum.
i want to be a Link.
i'd rather a negative stereotype than a "who?" stereotype.
people who think i'm not black enough have never seen me at 1724.
one day, i want my house to be bigger than 1724.
i foolishly think about my parents being dead, in an effort to try to prepare myself for life without them. but i usually just end up in tears.
yolonda adams' "in the midst of it all" will always make me cry.
sometimes, i still drive past JSV's estate (it's not a house, or even a manor) and want to scream and give him the finger. i can't help it, it's on the thinking route.
this really is a work in progress, expect more later. |
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| wait, what? |
[Mar. 26th, 2007|11:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
a you called my mom today (which was okay, i gave him the number), and then i talked to her. among the predictable "he seems like a really nice guy" and "he spoke so well" or even toni's recount of the conversation including her own "well, adriana can be a hater at times" (thanks, mom) - she drops a bomb on me in the form of....
"you should date someone like him"
i thought about it for a second (my thought was the definition of complicated) and the response that escaped my lips was "yikes. no, mommy. very funny...." we kept talking and it was the usualness post-6pm stuff, she's going to work, i'm going to read, the like. not gonna lie though - after we hung up, i had to ask myself seriously....what the fuck just happened?
ps: my mood is tagged apathetic, but sometimes....i'm not so sure about even that. |
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